Finding Focus In Chaos
Finding order in times of chaos is a driving need for me. It’s true in my art and it’s true in my life. In an art sense, order brings me focus. It helps me remember what I love. Moving the eye around a canvas is the goal, but too many similar things in a painting confuse the focus. The constant question I hold the closest is what do I want the viewer to see?
Order brings a sense of control over my surroundings when I can’t control all that is happening around me. Purging feels even better. I recently swept through the house eliminating clutter. I worked through a couple of problem closets where I tend to stash stuff and got enough to take a couple of carloads to the local charity shop. Wow, did that feel good.
The same is true in my paintings. It feels good when I let go of lesser things to make room to truly enjoy the parts I love and most want to communicate. What feels right for this painting? What feels like me now? Today? In this new season? It’s an editing process that takes time and careful thought, there’s an ebb and flow. Things come in and things go out. An inhale and an exhale.
Simplicity.
Simplicity is so powerful in my life--I deeply crave it. After the ultimate crisis of losing my first husband, after living in constant crisis for years and years, after living in a house we bought and filled for a life we didn’t get to live, I needed to shed that old life. I was overwhelmed by all of our stuff. Some things just told me to whom they needed to belong. I gifted those things and it felt so satisfying. Our time was done. It was a new season.
I gave away about 95% of everything I owned. Everyone kept telling me to sell the stuff, but I knew that whatever money I might make would never be enough to make up for what it was costing me emotionally and energy-wise at the time. I needed to move quick. I was right. I haven’t regretted one single thing I gave up. I felt lighter and more equipped to move forward. It gave me more life energy.
I try to remember that as I’m analyzing my paintings. It frees me to make decisions that sometimes feel risky but I’ve learned that often those decisions allow me to fall even deeper in love with what I created. I hope that’s true for you too.
