Doing Hard Things
Comfort is a gift, I truly believe that, but it can also steal from us. It lulls us into thinking we have more time than we do. It robs us from taking action when we should. It keeps us from being vulnerable and telling the truth. It stunts our growth and imprisons us in our patterns. Sometimes I think we worship comfort. I watch people prioritize it over EVERYTHING and that scares me.
Often life throws us into uncomfortable situations and forces us out of our comfort zone. Loss of a job, being forced to move out of our community, medical emergencies. We tend to name those times “bad,” but I don’t think of the things that happen as “good” or “bad” anymore. Circumstances just happen. That’s it. They just happen. My late husband died. I certainly can’t label that good. But I can’t label it bad either. Would I want him to suffer longer? Absolutely not. It’s just what happened.
Now I pay far more attention to my reaction to what is happening more than my circumstances. How I react to things can absolutely be good or bad. That’s what I believe. My response is good or bad.
When I struggle and respond poorly to my circumstances, I find it compounds my problems and causes me to have to spend more energy, time, and resources that I don’t really have to begin with to just get myself back to neutral. That fight robs me. It robs me of my peace, of progress, it even robs me from seeing possible solutions. It certainly robs my art, and everyone around me. I need to get the best outcome in tough circumstances and that requires my full attention and surrender. I have to surrender my comfort.
I noticed that when I do the hard things, it might be emotional, and feel terrible at the moment, but if I do it, I eventually get the good things.
It’s hard though. It’s hard to always do the hard things. This isn’t a skill you’re just born with. I have to learn. I practice doing hard things so that when the REAL hard things come, I have the skills to respond in ways that lead to the best outcomes for my life and the lives of those around me.
The trouble is this can be confusing. Sometimes this means having hard conversations. Sometimes this means refraining from a conversation. Sometimes this means throwing myself into something new. Sometimes this means sticking with something that is hard. Developing wisdom and discernment is crucial to doing this well.
The best boss I ever had once told me, “Do something to help yourself. Don’t just make yourself feel better.” He threatened to have it tattooed on the back of my hands. It was hard. I needed reminding. I struggled. That was some wise advice and I think of it often.
I always feel afraid when I’m faced with doing something hard. I feel every ounce of that fear, and I do it anyway. It feels hard. It feels uncomfortable. But much to my surprise, almost every time I do this the outcome is positive—maybe not instantly, but over time, it always pays. I try to remember all of the positive results from every time I’ve done something hard and use that to give me the strength to do the next hard thing.
The one thing I know for sure is I must do the hard things to get the good things. I’m going to keep practicing.
