We're Not Entitled, We're Blessed.

I loved my old life with my late husband. I was incredibly well loved by an amazing man with whom I was deeply in love and I had known nearly all my life. And then he got desperately ill for many years and then he died.

This is a tough topic to write about. I’m trying to be careful as I don’t want to hurt people.  Maybe I can get a pass because I too have truly suffered? Suffered in ways that ended-my-life-as-I-knew-it kind of suffering.

It’s the old “why me?” syndrome. When something bad happens, it’s very common for people to wonder, “Why me?”. They get stuck on it and can’t get beyond it. They are tortured by it, obsessed over it. It’s clearly a normal thing that lots of people experience, but it sure feels foreign to me.  

May I confess my real thoughts about it without being insensitive to others who struggle? As much as I would love to think I should somehow be immune to whatever hardship befalls me, I know I’m not. My philosophy is more like bad stuff happens every day and it was just my turn. I’m more in the “why NOT me?” camp. I’m not immune from suffering no matter how much I love Jesus, how smart I am, or how happy, or loving, or how good. I’m simply not immune to bad things happening.

Bad things happen to good people all the time, right? So why do so many people ask, “Why me?”. As if there’s an answer. As if it’s solvable. As if it’s going to change the circumstances or help a single thing. I marvel at the fact that they have enough energy to wrestle with the question at all.  

It’s like we forget that none of us get to forever hang on to the life we have right now. ALL of us will lose this life—not just when we die. Not when it’s convenient. Not when we’re bored and ready for a change. No. That’s not how it works.  

None of this is guaranteed. We are not owed this goodness. We’re blessed, people. Not entitled.